How quitting alcohol changed the trajectory of my life

On New Year's Day, I joined a goal-setting webinar, where a speaker shared their ambition for 2024: a year without alcohol. Their tone, treating it as a monumental challenge, made me pause. To me, drinking's a non-issue, so hearing someone I respect aim for sobriety startled me momentarily.

Then, my own past rushed back.

I once had a binge drinking issue. I drank for courage, to feel good, to shed inhibitions. I loved the tipsy feeling and would chase it all night. Alcohol was my tool for social connection and gave me permission to really party. But it also deepened my self-loathing with a relentless cycle of guilt and shame, anaesthetising me and suppressing my feelings.

A particularly dreadful night marked my lowest point. I remember trying to express to a friend how broken I felt and that I couldn’t ever imagine feeling like I had value or self worth.

I sought help from a GP, not to curb my drinking, but to address my persistent feelings of worthlessness. My self-esteem was nonexistent. The GP took my history and inquired about my lifestyle including my drinking habits. “Yes, it was a bit of an issue”, I said. “I’m not an alcoholic or anything. But I do binge drink a bit too much”. I then proceeded to tell him about my recent disastrous evening.

The doctor looked me dead in the eyes and said - verbatim “ you must stop drinking. You can never have a drink again. If you continue to drink, you may be the life of the party but no man will ever love you.”

That was a life defining moment for me.

His direct and seemingly unsympathetic words pressed on a painful wound - the fear I was unlovable. I left his office genuinely terrified, knowing I had to quit. I'd tried and failed before, the longest stint being six months. At 33, after 17 years of relying on alcohol for social occasions -

Who was I without it?

Initially shy, insecure, and socially awkward, I gradually embraced sobriety. After about 3 months, my baseline level of self-esteem increased. The doctor had explained how alcohol, a depressant, keeps you in a perpetual state of low grade depression. Particularly if you have a drink more than once every 3 days.

When I did go out to bars or clubs,I noticed the ones who persistently tried to coerce me into drinking, were those with their own drinking issues. I realised me not drinking made them feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I would have deeper conversations with these people and often they would admit their envy at my sobriety, wishing they could abstain as well.

My physical and mental health benefited immensely. Financially, I saved so much money. Espresso Martinis were $20 each back in 2010.

I embarked on a truly rewarding journey of self discovery. In my opinion, alcohol can stunt one’s emotional development. I don’t believe you can truly know yourself when you are anaesthetised with substances. Even sugar (but that is a story for another day).

Without alcohol, I was significantly more productive and devoted to my passions.

I learnt to trust myself and keep my word.

My compassion and capacity to hold space for others increased and my relationships deepened as a result.

I always felt safe, never waiting for taxis or depending on others.

Quitting alcohol set my life on a profoundly different trajectory to one that includes love, meaningful connections, and spiritual growth. I like to say that I jumped time lines as reflecting on my past feels like recalling another persons’ life.

I am deeply grateful to be where I am now, and all the experiences that led me here. I’ve no doubt there was a more graceful way to learn these lessons, but it is what it is.

And I am now a self esteem and well being coach! How’s that for a turn of events. I truly believe ANYONE can change. That includes you. Yes, YOU! I believe in you! I believe in my core that change is possible for anyone.

If you're interested in one-on-one coaching with me, I invite you to reach out. I'm here to offer my support and guidance, helping you navigate and implement the necessary changes to achieve the life you desire. To become the person you want to become.

With love,

Maggie - The Inspired Coach

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