How quitting alcohol changed the trajectory of my life

On New Year's Day, I joined a goal-setting webinar, where a speaker shared their ambition for 2024: a year without alcohol. Their tone, treating it as a monumental challenge, made me pause. To me, drinking's a non-issue, so hearing someone I respect aim for sobriety startled me momentarily.

Then, my own past rushed back.

I once had a binge drinking issue. I drank for courage, to feel good, to shed inhibitions. I loved the tipsy feeling and would chase it all night. Alcohol was my tool for social connection and gave me permission to really party. But it also deepened my self-loathing with a relentless cycle of guilt and shame, anaesthetising me and suppressing my feelings.

A particularly dreadful night marked my lowest point. I remember trying to express to a friend how broken I felt and that I couldn’t ever imagine feeling like I had value or self worth.

I sought help from a GP, not to curb my drinking, but to address my persistent feelings of worthlessness. My self-esteem was nonexistent. The GP took my history and inquired about my lifestyle including my drinking habits. “Yes, it was a bit of an issue”, I said. “I’m not an alcoholic or anything. But I do binge drink a bit too much”. I then proceeded to tell him about my recent disastrous evening.

The doctor looked me dead in the eyes and said - verbatim “ you must stop drinking. You can never have a drink again. If you continue to drink, you may be the life of the party but no man will ever love you.”

That was a life defining moment for me.

His direct and seemingly unsympathetic words pressed on a painful wound - the fear I was unlovable. I left his office genuinely terrified, knowing I had to quit. I'd tried and failed before, the longest stint being six months. At 33, after 17 years of relying on alcohol for social occasions -

Who was I without it?

Initially shy, insecure, and socially awkward, I gradually embraced sobriety. After about 3 months, my baseline level of self-esteem increased. The doctor had explained how alcohol, a depressant, keeps you in a perpetual state of low grade depression. Particularly if you have a drink more than once every 3 days.

When I did go out to bars or clubs,I noticed the ones who persistently tried to coerce me into drinking, were those with their own drinking issues. I realised me not drinking made them feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I would have deeper conversations with these people and often they would admit their envy at my sobriety, wishing they could abstain as well.

My physical and mental health benefited immensely. Financially, I saved so much money. Espresso Martinis were $20 each back in 2010.

I embarked on a truly rewarding journey of self discovery. In my opinion, alcohol can stunt one’s emotional development. I don’t believe you can truly know yourself when you are anaesthetised with substances. Even sugar (but that is a story for another day).

Without alcohol, I was significantly more productive and devoted to my passions.

I learnt to trust myself and keep my word.

My compassion and capacity to hold space for others increased and my relationships deepened as a result.

I always felt safe, never waiting for taxis or depending on others.

Quitting alcohol set my life on a profoundly different trajectory to one that includes love, meaningful connections, and spiritual growth. I like to say that I jumped time lines as reflecting on my past feels like recalling another persons’ life.

I am deeply grateful to be where I am now, and all the experiences that led me here. I’ve no doubt there was a more graceful way to learn these lessons, but it is what it is.

And I am now a self esteem and well being coach! How’s that for a turn of events. I truly believe ANYONE can change. That includes you. Yes, YOU! I believe in you! I believe in my core that change is possible for anyone.

If you're interested in one-on-one coaching with me, I invite you to reach out. I'm here to offer my support and guidance, helping you navigate and implement the necessary changes to achieve the life you desire. To become the person you want to become.

With love,

Maggie - The Inspired Coach

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unveiling motives for goal setting

New Year, new dreams! But before setting goals and manifesting, pause and ponder this essential piece of wisdom.

As we welcome the arrival of 2024, it's that magical time of year when conversations naturally drift toward New Year's Resolutions. Everywhere you look, people are fervently setting goals, crafting vision boards, identifying their "word" for the year, meticulously planning their work and working their plan, breaking tasks down, and identifying even the tiniest of atomic habits. The energy is palpable and contagious.

And it's exciting!

But before we dive headfirst into all the planning, the mind maps, and the affirmations, let's take a moment to pause and reflect.

What are the underlying motives for these goals?

I warmly invite you to embark on a journey of self-exploration.

Take the time to sit with your initial thoughts. Then, sit a little longer. Peel back the layers and discover what lies beneath.

- Why is this goal important to me?
- What inspired it?
- What will it contribute to my life?
- How will it enhance my existence?
- Does it resonate with my core values and the person I aspire to be?
- Am I pursuing this goal in hopes of alleviating some form of discomfort in my life?
- If so, what is this discomfort?

Often, we set goals with the intent of feeling better, transitioning from a state of discomfort to one of pleasure.

However, merely avoiding discomfort can mean pushing it further down, allowing it to fester and unexpectedly resurface at the most inopportune times.

If you're trying to distance yourself from discomfort, I gently encourage you to instead lean into it. Embrace it. What is it trying to tell you? What lessons does it hold? Where can you find the hidden gift within it?

As a society, we frequently avoid discomfort by immersing ourselves in distractions like binge-watching TV shows, compulsive shopping, endless scrolling through social media, overeating, or gaming. Precious time slips away. By bravely confronting our discomfort, feeling the emotions it stirs within us, we have the opportunity to transform them and, in turn, transform ourselves.

Consider a common New Year's resolution: losing weight.

This goal, in itself, is neutral.

If the motivation to lose weight stems from a belief that you're unworthy of love at your current weight, or if you're seeking external validation, then the motivation might be coming from a place of scarcity and is likely to be more punishing and lead to further suffering.

Conversely, if the motivation is to care for and honor your physical body, to cherish it as the vessel through which you experience life and express yourself, to be more energetic and full of vitality, then the motivation is coming from a place of abundance and is likely to lead to a more enjoyable journey.

By having the courage to be honest with ourselves, examining our true motives, and striving for higher choices, we can find a more profound and joyous 'WHY.' This, in turn, significantly increases our chances of achieving our goals.

If this article resonates with you, I invite you to click here to subscribe to my mailing list and receive a special gift from me. I've thoughtfully prepared 20 detailed coaching questions and prompts to help you delve deep into your motives.

Additionally, I'm offering spots for 1:1 coaching if you'd like my support in this process. Take advantage of the New Years special of 1 session for $75 (normally $120).

Together, let's make 2024 a year of meaningful change and personal growth!

With love,
Maggie - The Inspired Coach

FREE GIFT HERE

Blog Post Title Three

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Four

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.